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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in 1999.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in 1999.
#results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain
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The chart illustrates the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who visited four different types of popular
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
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 places like theme parks, Museums, Galleries, Historic Houses and Monuments, and Wildlife
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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 and Zoos in Britain in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 were mostly attracted to the Theme parks
likewise
Linking Words
, museums
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 their
second
Linking Words
-best destination to visit. Meanwhile, historic houses and monuments, and wildlife were visited by
few
Correct article usage
a few
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the theme park was the most
attracted
Replace the word
attractive
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 designation where people experienced five different things, including the Blackpool pleasure beach
where
Correct word choice
which
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 47% of people were spotted visiting,
however
Linking Words
, adventures and Legoland, Windsor, have the same number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 (10% each) which was lower than the Pleasure land, Southport Chessington World of Adventures and Alton towers which were 16% and 17% respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, more than one-
third
Linking Words
 (37%) percentage of people visited
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Museums and Galleries
whereas
Linking Words
 Wildlife
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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 and Zoos had fewer
visitors
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 9%. Historic Houses and monuments were popular places to explore,
although
Linking Words
, few visited them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16%.
Submitted by anishpanta51 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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