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Band 7

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. The increasing overweight rates among minors raise the question of accountability. While some voices claim that authorities should tackle the issue, others hold that families are to insure healthy habits for the young.
This
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 essay discusses both perspectives and argues that lifestyle is built at home. On the one hand, some think public policies should regulate publicity on sugar and carbohydrate products aimed at underage consumers.
This
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 would reduce exposure to the risk of children demanding and insisting on having sweets indefinitely, with no limitations and no balance whatsoever.
Furthermore
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, introducing,
for example
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, a higher amount of mandatory sports classes in schools could
also
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 help minors maintain a suitable shape.
However
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, the reach of government action is rather indirect and still needs specific implementation.
On the other hand
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, many people - myself included - agree that caretakers have the strongest and the most direct influence on children when it comes to the main aspects of life,
such
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 as food and health. If all adults embraced a healthy way of living based on frequent outdoor activities,
this
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 would create a culture where children enjoy and give importance to
this
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 kind of approach, replicating the same model as they grow up.
Moreover
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, parents choose what to purchase and what to leave aside;
therefore
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, they have an immediate impact on the diets adopted by their sons and daughters. Conclusively, while some people attribute to governmental factors the responsibility for the rising levels of obesity - and they have the right to. I believe the root cause of overweight in children is the place where in the end everything is decided: family.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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