Some people argue that the use of drones for personal delivery of packages is an invasion of privacy and should be heavily regulated, while others see it as an efficient and environmentally friendly innovation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There is a debate over whether
drones
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used for
delivery
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are an invasion of personal privacy or a beneficial and environmentally friendly innovation.
Although
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they might have some drawbacks, I believe that they bring several advantages for both companies and customers.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the concern about privacy invasion is understandable.
Drones
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delivering packages might fly over
people
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's properties, and
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therefore
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therefore,
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they could record or see things that homeowners do not want to reveal.
For example
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, many houses contain swimming pools, and some
people
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might use
drones
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as a way of watching their neighbours.
As a result
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, there is a real possibility that the use of
delivery
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drones
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could cross
people
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's privacy boundaries.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
drones
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can be a great innovation for different reasons.
Firstly
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, these smart mini planes can go directly to their target location without going through traffic or stopping at traffic lights.
As a result
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, they can be beneficial for both the receiver and the
delivery
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company,
while
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also
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saving time because
drones
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can handle more deliveries during the day.
Secondly
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, they can be better for the environment because they can be recharged and do not produce carbon dioxide emissions during
delivery
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.
Finally
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,
this
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is still a relatively new method of
delivery
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, and it is likely to be improved in the near future and become even faster and more efficient.
Conclusion
In conclusion, some
people
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may reject the idea of using
drones
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to deliver packages, just as smartphones were rejected when they first appeared.
However
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, considering their advantages in terms of speed and environmental impact, I believe that
delivery
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drones
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are likely to be a worthwhile innovation.

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task response
Discuss the need for rules more fully. You explain why people may fear drones, but you could say what rules may help, such as no cameras, set flight paths, or limits near homes.
task response
Make your own view a little more balanced. You support drones well, but say that they should be used only with clear privacy rules. This would answer all parts of the question more directly.
task response
Add one more clear real-life example for the good side, such as fast delivery of food or medicine to people who live far from shops.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: opening, one view, the other view, and ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use a stronger link between the privacy point and your final view. For example: “For this reason, drones should be regulated, but not banned.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “As a result” many times. You can also use “Therefore”, “This means that”, or “For this reason” to make links feel more natural.
task response
You discuss both sides of the question and give a clear personal view. Your main ideas about privacy, speed, and the environment are on topic.
task response
The example of drones flying over homes clearly shows why some people may feel worried about privacy.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, and the order of ideas is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending are clear. The ending restates your view and brings the essay to a natural close.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal privacy
  • invade someone’s privacy
  • surveillance equipment
  • collect personal data
  • without consent
  • strict regulation
  • flight restrictions
  • designated flight paths
  • noise pollution
  • public safety
  • efficient delivery service
  • last-mile delivery
  • reduce traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • electric-powered drones
  • remote communities
  • emergency supplies
  • clear legal framework
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