IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Climate change is an issue. Do you agree with this?

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I think people can go to a university that engages with genetic
research
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 to ask something related to genetic
research
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. Mostly, people are positive about genetic
research
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 because they believe that that can lead to find treatments for
some
one or some or every or all without specification
any
 illness that threats lives of many humans. I think genetic
research
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 should be funded by both
governments
Suggestion
government
 and private companies, but private companies may use genetic
research
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 not for improving lives of humans, but for making a profit,
therefore
Linking Words
 governments should monitor those companies. I like listening sound of drum and
piano
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. The sound of
piano
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 sounds relaxing to me, and that of drum sounds exciting to me. I have tried learning
piano
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 years of the high school, but I
also
Linking Words
 had to prepare for the university exam,
therefore
Linking Words
 I was unable to spare enough time for practising
piano
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 and decided to give up learning it. Yes, children should be taught musical instruments in schools because the process of learning a musical instrument has positive effects on
brain
Suggestion
the brain
. I think it depends on the willingness of one who decides to learn a musical instrument. If
this
Linking Words
 person
really want
Suggestion
really wants
 to learn a musical instrument,
this
Linking Words
 person can find different ways to achieve it, other than hiring a teacher,
such
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 as watching online videos. I do walk sometimes at a certain pace outside, and I think it is a healthy routine. I do it twice or three times a week. When I do walks, I don't invite anybody to walk with me because I like
listenining
the act of hearing attentively
listening
 music via headphones when I do walk.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, it could be rude behaviour to call someone to come with me and listen music with headphones during the entire walk. Doing
walkin
close enough to be walked to
walking
 routinely helps protect both the physical and psychological health. It is true that one who do walk outside on a regular basis is less likely to get depressed compared to those who don't do any exercise. It
also
Linking Words
 helps improve cardiovascular health.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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