Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

#people #happiness #responsibility #individuals #factors

The source of

happiness

is believed by many people can be gained only by individual efforts, while others perceive that other aspects

also

play significant roles. In my opinion, people can be happy with their personal achievements, yet it is

also

highly affected by some important factors. Each person can pursue

happiness

through

life

achievements. It is because of the satisfaction after passing challenges to reach higher attainments.

For example

, people can live joyfully when they can be promoted to a higher position,

such

as from

sales

Suggestion

a sales

to a manager.

This

achievement, of course, takes a long time, patience, and hardship,

hence

people might feel satisfied. Another example is completing a degree in university with the highest distinction

also

reflects hard work and perseverance throughout the years so that it becomes

happiness

in someone's

life

Thus individual

Accept comma addition

Thus, individual

attainment can bring

happiness

life

However

, personal achievements are affected by other elements.

First

, as a social being, human has a family who gives support and advice through hard times.

Moreover

, the presence of best friends

also

comforts people during ups and downs. Having a supportive social circle, people can be motivated and happy subconsciously to reach their destination and gain

happiness

in lives.

Therefore

, relatives and friends act as other essential factors of supporting ones. In my opinion, these two aspects are highly connected. Without having a proper social circle, people might suffer alone and impossible to be successful in achieving

life

achievements as part of a happy

life

. In conclusion, people cannot fully rely on individual efforts to attain

happiness

, but

also

need

supports

Suggestion

support

from family and best friends during the

life

process.

Tue Apr 07 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

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Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people today prefer to get advice online for medical problems and do not want to visit a doctor. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Today's young generation is facing many problems in school and at home. What are the problems? What can parents do to help their teenage children?

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. films stars, pop musicians or sports starts) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Wich other types of job should be highly paid?

It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?