Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The source of

happiness

Use synonyms

is believed by many people can be gained only by individual efforts, while others perceive that other aspects

also

Linking Words

play significant roles. In my opinion, people can be happy with their personal achievements, yet it is

also

Linking Words

highly affected by some important factors. Each person can pursue

happiness

Use synonyms

through

life

Use synonyms

achievements. It is because of the satisfaction after passing challenges to reach higher attainments.

For example

Linking Words

, people can live joyfully when they can be promoted to a higher position,

such

Linking Words

as from

sales

Suggestion

a sales

to a manager.

This

Linking Words

achievement, of course, takes a long time, patience, and hardship,

hence

Linking Words

people might feel satisfied. Another example is completing a degree in university with the highest distinction

also

Linking Words

reflects hard work and perseverance throughout the years so that it becomes

happiness

Use synonyms

in someone's

life

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Thus individual

Accept comma addition

Thus, individual

attainment can bring

happiness

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, personal achievements are affected by other elements.

First

Linking Words

, as a social being, human has a family who gives support and advice through hard times.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the presence of best friends

also

Linking Words

comforts people during ups and downs. Having a supportive social circle, people can be motivated and happy subconsciously to reach their destination and gain

happiness

Use synonyms

in lives.

Therefore

Linking Words

, relatives and friends act as other essential factors of supporting ones. In my opinion, these two aspects are highly connected. Without having a proper social circle, people might suffer alone and impossible to be successful in achieving

life

Use synonyms

achievements as part of a happy

life

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, people cannot fully rely on individual efforts to attain

happiness

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

need

supports

Suggestion

support

from family and best friends during the

life

Use synonyms

process.

Tue Apr 07 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

273 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: • Say why you would like to go on the trip • Suggest what you could do to help during the trip • Ask other questions about the trip
I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to express my interest in going on a trip to the USA as a parent volunteer.
6.5
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter: • Explain why you want to work voluntary/unpaid at the museum. • Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful. • Give details of when you would be available for work.
I am writing this email to express my interest in doing volunteer work at the city museum that was advertised in the Times Newspaper on the 27th of November 2023.
6.5
band
When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Nowadays, there are a lot of people who assess others at the moment of the first meeting. In this essay, I am going to prove that this is a bad idea to judge people this way and build our relationships based on the first-moment evaluation.
7.5
band
These days, many university courses are offered through the internet. Some people think that online teaching has more advantages than conventional classroom teaching or lectures, while others claim that there are significant disadvantages. Do the benefits of online teaching outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's world, online teaching platforms have become a popular tendency and play a significant role in learning methods. While some argue that online platforms save much time on commuting and are better than the conventional teaching ways in the classroom, others contend that learning through the internet has significant drawbacks, such as easily getting distracted by other things. In this context, I suppose that the advantages of online lessons outweigh real lectures.
6
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
In the future, all vehicles will be autonomous. Passengers will be the only people inside them. I believe business can cut costs by using driverless cars, and this advantage far outweighs any potential disadvantages.

Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

Fully explain your ideas

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?