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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
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To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. I completely agree with the idea that allowing
such
people
 to speak to
teenagers
 about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law. In my opinion,
teenagers
 are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience. Reformed offenders can tell young
people
 about how they became involved in crime, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison is really like. They can
also
 dispel any ideas that
teenagers
 may have about criminals leading glamorous lives.
While
 adolescents are often indifferent to the guidance given by older
people
, I imagine that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact. The alternatives to using reformed criminals to educate
teenagers
 about crime would be much less effective. One option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young
people
.
This
 could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young
people
 are often reluctant to take advice from figures of authority. A second option would be for school teachers
speak
Fix the infinitive
to speak
show examples
 to their students about crime, but I doubt that students would see teachers as credible sources of information about
this
 topic.
Finally
, educational films might be informative, but there would be no opportunity for young
people
 to interact and ask questions. In conclusion, I fully support the view that
people
 who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence could help to deter
teenagers
 from committing crimes.
Submitted by sherzodsaydaliyev300 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Expand on the reasons why teenagers are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly present and well-developed.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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