IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information on the population of turtles in India from 1980 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the population of turtles in India from 1980 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #turtles #india #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph gives data on different
turtle
Use synonyms
species
Use synonyms
 in
India
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2012. The given
turtle
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
index
Use synonyms
 clearly states that leatherback
turtles
Use synonyms
 greatly reduced during the given period
while
Linking Words
 the Olive Ridley
species
Use synonyms
 managed to increase their
population
Use synonyms
 in
India
Use synonyms
. Analysing the illustration
reveal
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveals
show examples
 that there were 111
turtle
Use synonyms
species
Use synonyms
 in
India
Use synonyms
 and the 1980
turtle
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
index
Use synonyms
 considered 100
units
Use synonyms
 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year, all
turtles
Use synonyms
 in
India
Use synonyms
 were at unit 100.
However
Linking Words
, over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, leatherback
turtle
Use synonyms
’s number dropped significantly and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only 60
units
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 an opposite trend could be observed in the case of Olive Ridley
turtles
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
species
Use synonyms
 continually expanded,
according to
Linking Words
 the
index
Use synonyms
, till 1997 and
then
Linking Words
 showed some fluctuations with a sharp drop in 2012 when it was just over 120
units
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the green
turtle
Use synonyms
’s
index
Use synonyms
 indicates that a rapid oscillation was visible in the
population
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
turtle
Use synonyms
. Over the years,
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
species's
Remove the s
species'
show examples
population
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, slightly dropped and they were just over 90
units
Use synonyms
 in 2012. The
index
Use synonyms
 of all
turtle
Use synonyms
species
Use synonyms
 did not change significantly, though there were many ups and downs in
this
Linking Words
 number. The important information that the diagram provides is the number of various types of
turtle
Use synonyms
species
Use synonyms
. It was 19 for leatherback
turtles
Use synonyms
, 38 for green
turtles
Use synonyms
 and 20 for Olive Ridley.
Submitted by taghva.ar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words turtle, species, india, population, index, turtles, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: