The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #sites #people #canada #summarise #features #comparisons

The bar chart illustrates the load measurements where residents living in Charlestown between 1955 and 2015.

Overall

, the proportion of obese

people

experienced an upward trend,

however

ratio of ideal pressure

people

a downward trend indicated in the years.

on the other hand

, if we go to the older

ages

, we can clearly see the rate of obese

people

gradual increase in 2015,

furthermore

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

people

who less than ideal load decreased if we look closer to 2015. İnterestingly, healthy density

people

who among 20-19

ages

rose to approximately 80% from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

about 70% in the sixth decade,

however

interest

Change preposition

show examples

ideal pressure

people

who among 30-39

ages

fell from 60% to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

about 55%.

While

we can't see obese

people

until the 40s,

ages

in 1955 we go through

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2015

this

situation its

change

Replace the word

changed

show examples

and with

this

thing

percent

Replace the word

percentage

show examples

of obese

people

between 20-29 and 30-39

ages

increased

Change preposition

apply

show examples

by about 2% and 11% respectively.

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of healthy

people

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

ages

Change preposition

apply

show examples

40-49 decreased

until

Change preposition

apply

show examples

by about 40% from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

about 60%

Submitted by emin07candemir on Tue Apr 07 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, ages with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

176 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effect on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many people use the Internet to get medical advice instead of going to see a doctor. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many museums charge for the entries while others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission for museum outweigh its disadvantages.