The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the load measurements where residents living in Charlestown between 1955 and 2015.
Overall
, the proportion of obese people
experienced an upward trend, however
ratio of ideal pressure people
a downward trend indicated in the years. on the other hand
, if we go to the older ages
, we can clearly see the rate of obese people
gradual increase in 2015, furthermore
number
of Change the article
the number
people
who less than ideal load decreased if we look closer to 2015.
İnterestingly, healthy density people
who among 20-19 ages
rose to approximately 80% from by
about 70% in the sixth decade, Change preposition
apply
however
interest of
ideal pressure Change preposition
in
people
who among 30-39 ages
fell from 60% to by
about 55%. Change preposition
apply
While
we can't see obese people
until the 40s, ages
in 1955 we go through the
2015 Change the article
apply
this
situation its change
and with Replace the word
changed
this
thing percent
of obese Replace the word
percentage
people
between 20-29 and 30-39 ages
increased to
by about 2% and 11% respectively. Change preposition
apply
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
percent
of healthy Change the spelling
per cent
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
ages
in
40-49 decreased Change preposition
apply
until
by about 40% from Change preposition
apply
by
about 60%Change preposition
apply
Submitted by emin07candemir on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, ages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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