Gone are the days when children dreamed of becoming doctors and nurses – today’s children want to become YouTubers or vloggers. According to a survey of 1,000 children aged six to 17, more than three quarters of them say they’d consider a career in online videos. (Adapted from --DELETED LINK-- It is dangerous for kids to aspire to become a YouTube sensation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#children #doctors #nurses #today’s #youtubers #vloggers #survey #six #three #quarters #they’d #career #videos #link-- #kids #youtube #sensation
It is a fact that many adolescents chase after their dream career to become a mental internet to find out more information about their dream job and other famous
youtuber
or vlogger. Correct your spelling
YouTuber
However
, I firmly believe that desiring to be a YouTube influencer has many disastrous effects on children
's mental and physical health
. To begin
with, work
online jobs would cause Verb problem
apply
children
great damage on
Change preposition
to
physical
Correct pronoun usage
their physical
health
. To be specific, social media and technology devices can increase higher risk of serious illnesses and health
issues, including obesity, cardiovascular disease, eyestrain and many other diseases. According to
a recent survey, children
’s brains are still developing, so they are more sensitive to the effects of technology than other brains. For example
, if children
use computer
Correct article usage
a computer
form
30 minutes to 1 Correct your spelling
for
hours
without Change to a singular noun
hour
parent’s
monitor, they will delay in language development. On top of that, using technological devices and applications is detrimental toCorrect article usage
a parent’s
Add an article
the
health
of children
. They may devote a huge amount of time to use
Wrong verb form
using
Add an article
the
youtubes
, which increases Correct your spelling
YouTubers
interact
through computers rather than Replace the word
interaction
face to face
. Only by reducing real interaction can adolescents face feelings of loneliness and isolation. The argument in favour of dependence on technology would be that Add a hyphen
face-to-face
children
can still have social interactions online; however
, the loss of traditional communication can develop higher levels of depression and anxiety. To sum up
, children
should not become a
YouTube Correct article usage
apply
sensation
to avoid undueFix the agreement mistake
sensations
metal
and physical problems for their Correct your spelling
mental
health
.Submitted by hienlinh709 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite