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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many parts of world, children are given more freedom than in the past. Is this a positive or negative development?

#parts #world #children #freedom #development
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There are many advantages of
children
Use synonyms
 enjoying more freedom. They grow up quicker than their parents did.
This
Linking Words
 produces more liberal, mature and adventurous adults, which obviously has an effect on society in the long run.
Today
Use synonyms
's
children
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 follow the global culture, which is the amalgamation of the good points of the various cultures of the world.
Consequently
Linking Words
, countries progress more rapidly because of
this
Linking Words
 shedding of many traditional ways of doing things and becoming freer and more open societies.
For example
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, in
lndia
Correct your spelling
India
, if
today
Use synonyms
's youngster wants a
dowry free
Add a hyphen
dowry-free
show examples
 marriage, he will go ahead and have it against all odds,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 earlier youngsters could not take a stand against it as it was considered customary.
Furthermore
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,
today
Use synonyms
's
children
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 have the power of the
lnternet
Correct your spelling
Internet
 and the satellite W in their hands.
Today
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's young generation is the most
well informed
Add a hyphen
well-informed
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 generation than ever in the history of mankind. They know what their parents and grandparents do not know. They have oceans of opportunities in front of them, which they want to explore. They adopt careers of their choice and do not hesitate
walking
Change the verb form
to walk
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 on the untrodden path. They are not afraid of taking risks.
For instance
Linking Words
, earlier
children
Use synonyms
 were
pressurized
Verb problem
pressured
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 by their parents to take up medical, non-medical or commerce streams, but
today
Use synonyms
's
children
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 are going into computer animation, computer gaming and other fields, which were unheard of before.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sometimes
this
Linking Words
 freedom can be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. They like maturity and fail to see the far-reaching consequences of their actions.
lt
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 the time when teens make mistakes and need someone there to guide them
understand
Fix the infinitive
to understand
show examples
 what went wrong, take a step
backward
Change the spelling
backwards
show examples
, analyze, and again take a step forward. Freedoms should come in small steps so that the teens are ready to move forward having proven their ability to handle each small movement. Too much freedom can end them in bad company and
also
Linking Words
 drugs.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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