IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that modern innovations brings a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree.

#people #innovations
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Over the years, the advancements and innovations in the modern society had surpassed our wildest expectations, but many people argue that the problems it causes outweigh its advantages.
To begin
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 with, technology has a lot of benefits in human's lives.
Firstly
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, it made communication much easier and more convenient compared to that of the past. Nowadays, individuals can talk with each other and be updated on their daily life routine via mobile phones which makes the distance between them seem non-existent.
Secondly
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, new inventions could positively affect productivity.
For example
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, a factory previously would need thousands of workers to produce a product, but in recent years, because of the generation of machineries, production of goods had increased massively with less personnel needed resulting in more profit or income.
On the other hand
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, modern innovations have its own drawbacks. In fact, the sudden rise of the number of people suffering from obesity and other chronic illnesses can be attributed to the usage of technologies. To cite an example, watching television has become the most favourite hobby of younger people and
as a result
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, they tend to live a sedentary lifestyle and rarely participate in physical activities
such
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 as sports.
Moreover
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, those people who spend their free or leisure time in front of the TV will have a negative impact on their social life wherein they will not have the opportunity to interact with other people. In conclusion,
although
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 these modern technologies can have disadvantages which can contribute to the youth to acquire life-threatening disease and will isolate them from their peers, it cannot be denied that they are heavily beneficial in improving people's personal and professional life.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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