IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#world #adults #work #home #children #study #computer #technology #development
Computer technology, web, Internet, Intranet all these are becoming more and more popular day by day
last
 30 years.
Further
, It looks like around the
world it
Accept comma addition
world, it
 is likely that more adults will
work
 from
home
 and more children will study from
home
 as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Now in the days Informatipn Technology field majorly famous for
work
 from
home
. Many IT professionals when they have some
work
 at
home
, many a times, they are always opting for "
work
 from
home
"
.
Accept space
.
This
 trend
firstly
, started from IT field and later on
introduced
Suggestion
introducing
 in many fields,
Such
 as BPO,
teli
(Greek mythology) one of the three Graces
Thalia
tali
tile
 callers etc.
For example
, 2 years back some of my relatives granny was bed ridden in her
last
 days. Her
grand son
a male grandchild
grandson
 is a computer programmer.
Consequently
, he
had opt
Suggestion
had opted
for
Suggestion
to
work
 from
home
 for
quiet
to a degree (not used with a negative)
quite
 long time.
Thus
, it helped him to support his
grand mother
the mother of your father or mother
grandmother
 a lot. Even though there were 2 nurses hired for her, there was a male required as she was
very health lady
Suggestion
a very healthy lady
very healthy lady
, to make her sit
and to make her
Suggestion
and make her
laid
put into a certain place or abstract location
lay
 down on the bed.
Secondly
, As the present Lock down is going on because of the Corona Virus
(
Accept space
(
Covid-19) and social distancing ought to be maintained, online classes are already going on for students from the teachers/colleges. To conclude, With the technology along with positive
in addition
 to
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 negativity
also
 is there.
For instance
, client face to face meeting will be more effective.
This
Suggestion
These
 online classes are another case, where students will be more serious in
class rooms
a room in a school where lessons take place
classrooms
 as teacher's presence will be there. With
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 children at
home
 will become casual and take
onli
on a regular route of a railroad or bus or airline system
online
 classes lightly.
Submitted by syedakhadija1981 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: