All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #rise

Nowadays many

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, many

societies facing problem with the

obesity

Suggestion

obese

This

problem is affecting both children and adult

Accept space

This

essay will discuss two main causes.

This

essay will

also

suggest two main solutions. Firs of all

curently

Suggestion

current

currently

people are very busy with their daily schedule

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so they usually do not have any awareness about their health.

For example

People stay long

time

behind the table and they don’t use to take break for

walk

Suggestion

a walk

walks

or starches to keep fit. Children prefer to play

game

Suggestion

games

on electronic devices at home,

instead

outdoors

Suggestion

outdoor

games.

Secondly

, more consumption of

junk

food

as compared to healthy.

For

instance people

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instance, people

in modern life are very keen on eating fast foods

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which is the main cause

Suggestion

obesity. The reason is that, the people have not much

time

to make homemade

food

, so it is easy to buy

junk

food

and eat, which is

contain

Suggestion

contained

salt and high level of cholesterol, which is very bad for health. The solution is that, people should do exercise and walk on

daily basis

Suggestion

a daily basis

Parent

Suggestion

The parent

should take their children outside and encourage them to participate in outdoor games like football and swimming.

Third reason

Suggestion

A third reason

The third reason

Suggestion

for

increasing obesity is eating

habit

Suggestion

habits

. Many people are used to skip lunch because they don’t have much

time

to cook handmade

food

for

office

Suggestion

the office

. They take dinner directly after breakfast. The solution is that, people should take

balanced diet

Suggestion

a balanced diet

, like vegetable, fruits and some protein in their meal

instead

of skipping lunch. The sum of that, people should avoid eating

junk

food

, do exercise and don’t skip the meal during day

time

. Government should increase taxes on

junk

food

, people should increase walk in their routine life and take balanced diet.

Wed Apr 08 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Some believe that people should make efforts to fight climate change while others think it is better to learn to live with it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

the best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extent do you agree.

Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up. To what extent do you agree or disagree?