IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that thay find the most interesting. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #thay
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
School subjects are so important in our educational life, though the
some
closely similar or comparable in kind or quality or quantity or degree
same
 subjects are crucial, I believe that every youth should concentrate on the
subject
Use synonyms
 that they are most interested in, because if you are interested in something you will be good at it. If teenagers focus on
one
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 that they are interested in they will be the best in
this
Linking Words
 specific
subject
Use synonyms
, and it's better to know everything about something rather than knowing something about everything, and that's because all of us when we go to the doctor we don't want a doctor who know a little about everything, though that may seem good, but we want a doctor who knows everything about what he is doing to us so that we can be safe from any mistakes and be healthy and
this
Linking Words
 applies to everything in life even in schools. When teenagers put all of their efforts on
one
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 they will be more creative, productive, inspired and successfull in that particular
subject
Use synonyms
 and that will result in new innovations that will help us in the future, where as the creativity exists the success will exist, but what will happen if every youth focused in everything,
first
Linking Words
 the youth will not be able to bring an innovation from something because he is not specialized in it,
also
Linking Words
 teenagers will be distracted from their own goals and ambitions, because teenager are so ambitious and uplifted by success, and to have that succes they need to focus on something until they became successfull in it
then
Linking Words
 they can focus on another
subject
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
lastly
Suggestion
Lastly
 teenagers should focus on
one
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 because that leads to success and creativity and without it the world would be less inspiring, less innovation would be created if people didn't focus on
one
Use synonyms
 thing that they cared about.
Submitted by lughingtogether122 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: