The organizer of the annual festival is going to organize the festival in your place. Write a letter to the organizer giving feedback for last year and suggestions for this year. In your letter, you should: give your feedback for the last festival tell me what you can do for the new festival suggestions about the new festival.

#organizer #place #feedback #year #suggestions

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter concerning the yearly festival being held at my house on the 20th of April 2020. I am so thrilled after knowing that

this

year’s fair is to be organised at my home.

Last

year, it was splendid and astonishing. Everything was well organized and synchronized perfectly, and particularly the plethora of cuisines displayed at the fair was awe-inspiring.

Moreover

, the ambience of the entire fair was glamorous and elegant. Let me explain about myself a bit. I

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

an event manager for the past 5 years and

hence

I have managed various college events and

conference

Fix the agreement mistake

conferences

show examples

previously.

Furthermore

, I have some connections that could assist you in

this

event,

for instance

, there are a few disc jockeys in my contact who are incredibly talented and affordable.

Additionally

, if you have any issues with the decoration do let me know, I know some decorators and suppliers who can provide items required efficiently and at a low cost.

Also

, If there are any requirements to be done, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Although

the previous year's festival was astounding,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

I had a few suggestions to upgrade the enthusiasm even more,

for example

, including a singing and dancing competition would be zealous.

In addition

this

, even though the variety of cuisine presented was

amazing

Rephrase

as amazing

show examples

as the former festival,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

adding a live kitchen would enhance the serving experience to another level. Let me know what you think of my ideas. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanking you Yours sincerely, Shakib Qureshi

Submitted by tasbeauty.nature on Wed Apr 08 2020

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity and structure.

coherence cohesion

Try to vary sentence structures for better fluency and coherence.

task achievement

You have addressed the task requirements effectively, providing feedback and suggestions for the festival.

coherence cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Clear and relevant ideas presented in the letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Word Count

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with the sentence?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?