IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The supplied table gives information about monthly sales of various drinks at a small cafe from January to April months.

The supplied table gives information about monthly sales of various drinks at a small cafe from January to April months.
#information #sales #drinks #cafe #january #months
The supplied table gives information about monthly sales of various
drinks
 at a small cafe from January to April months.
Overall
 it can be seen from the table that , the sale range in terms of all of the
drinks
 was the highest in April compared to the other months and people
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferred to drink
tea
 and
coffee
 rather than the remaining types of
drinks
 during the given period. The sale starts
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January with
revenue
Correct article usage
a revenue
show examples
Change preposition
of
show examples
150 dollars for the
ice
Replace the word
iced
show examples
drinks
 and 250$ for
tea
 and
coffee
 which is more than about 40% of
revenue
 realised during the month. In January the cocktails
revenue
 seems to be showing a declining trend with $ 90.
While
 in February the figure for
revenue
 of
ice
Replace the word
iced
show examples
drinks
 and cocktails remained the same
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 150$ and 90$ respectively. We can observe a slight increase in
tea
 and
coffee
 sales by 20$.
On the other hand
revenue
 during March did not experience a significant change.
Juice
Add an article
The juice
show examples
 was
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
by the majority of people with the highest rate, 210$. Showing an increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 March
ice
drinks
 rose to 190$. Looking at April, the figure for the
revenue
 of
ice
drinks
 hit the highest point
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 230$,
whereas
 the sale of cocktail
drinks
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 approximately halved (100$)
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
ice
drinks
.
Tea
 and
coffee
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 drunk a bit
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
revenue
 180$ rather than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 months.
Submitted by nargiza_san on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words drinks, tea, coffee, revenue, ice with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: