Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

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With the rapid development of modern technologies
such
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as the internet or television, entertainers have become increasingly popular. Some people believe that celebrities are getting too high-paid salaries. Given that it is not fair to others and some celebrities are not well deserved, I completely agree that they are paid too much money.
First
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of all, Having
such
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an enormous
salary
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is unfair to those working in other vocations which contribute much more to the
society
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.
For instance
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, an engineer has an average monthly
salary
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of HK$ 30000, while a famous film star or a pop musician can earn more than a million in less than one month.
Although
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some vocations
such
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as doctors, engineers or scientists solve real world problems for the
society
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, they are not getting the wages that they deserved and indeed, even less than those stars who entertain others only.
Therefore
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, I think that it’s unfair to those who really benefit the
society
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at large.
Moreover
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, some celebrities are not deserved to get
such
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a high-paid
salary
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. As an example, it is reported that there are many sports stars or film stars are involved in some crimes
such
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as utilise illegal medicines or participate a violent fight. A celebrities should be a role model to the general public
otherwise
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some tender and vulnerable children may portray their actions.
As a result
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, some entertainers are not really deserved to get
such
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an enormous
wages
Suggestion
wage
. Having discussed that entertainers who receive
such
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a high-paying
salary
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are
Suggestion
is
unfair to others and some are not deserved to. I firmly agree that they are being paid too much money. If the money could be used widely, I am confident that the
society
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would be much better than before.
Submitted by kelvinmang888 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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