The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#role #education #children #world #schools #arts #music #curriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology

It is generally believed that the education plays a vital part in bracing young men and women

for

Suggestion

the contemporary

world

. Subjects

such

as arts and crafts and music should be removed from the syllabus in order

Suggestion

for

children to concentrate on beneficial courses

such

as information

technology

and computer

science

. In my opinion, it is obvious in today’s

world

we are surrounded by

technology

and

science

However

this

does not mean that merely

technology

-related subjects are important. Technological literacy gained much importance than ever before with the advances in

science

and knowledge. When recruiting new employees just about every job in all sectors and industries seek individuals with a prior knowledge of

technology

Moreover

, possessing computer skills are no longer considered as just an advantage but an absolute necessity. Omitting other subjects from the curriculum will contribute to the development of positive

science

rapidly. A conducted survey suggests that

human brain

Suggestion

the human brain

is more productive when its interested in one particular issue at a time.

On the other hand

, artistic subjects feed our soul and lead to

development

Suggestion

the development

of our spiritual

world

. The technological subjects are already mentally demanding. Through

musical

Suggestion

music

activities and arts the youngsters may relax themselves and enjoy their inside journey.

Furthermore

, in the future they can be

world

renowned musicians and artists.

In other words

, some children may find aforementioned topics more interesting and be successful. In conclusion, despite

technology

and

science

have taken over our

world there

Accept comma addition

world, there

might be some children who are interested in a career apart from these. I believe that, all subjects should

stressed

Suggestion

stress

equally or

similarly

Thu Apr 09 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

contentious
contemporary
correlation
foster
emotional intelligence
narrow students’ perspectives
critically
creatively
interdisciplinary
introspective
integration
debate
curriculum

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Answer the following question based on the theme. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter: Describe the item you bought and why you need it. Explain why you are not happy with it. Say what you would like the manager to do.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion.