IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

any museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why is this? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#museums #sites #tourists #people #visit
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
 wear same
type
 of
attires
Fix the agreement mistake
attire
show examples
 all across the globe but was not the same earlier. They used to
wore
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
clothes
 in relation to their
culture
. I believe
this
 trend
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a positive development as it negates the negative impact on
people
 like discrimination and it brings all
countries
 under
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
culture
. In the
19 th
Correct your spelling
19th
 century ,
people
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different
countries
 in the
world
 used to have separate unique clothing
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
which indeed
reflects
Wrong verb form
reflected
show examples
 their
culture
.
For instance
 , European
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
 used to
wore
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 modern
style
attires
Fix the agreement mistake
attire
show examples
 and Indians used to maintain
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 ethical clothing
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
. Even in a country like India ,
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
show examples
people
 have different types of attire.
This
 progressively leads to
a draw
Wrong verb form
drawing
show examples
 a thick margin at the boundaries of all
countries
 which may have a negative impact on future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
Whereas
 now , All
people
 from various
countries
wore
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
type
 of
clothes
 .
This
 trend brought all the
countries
 under
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
culture
 .
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, it is hard to find
a different styles
Correct the article-noun agreement
different styles
a different style
show examples
 of
clothes
for example
 Western
style
 or European
type
 of
clothes
. Everywhere in the
world
 wore
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
type
 of
attires
Fix the agreement mistake
attire
show examples
 which indeed indicates a good sign.
Moreover
 , there would not be any discrimination
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
 like northern and southern as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 there would not be any poverty like poor and rich .
This
type
 of
culture
 creates
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on
Correct article usage
the
show examples
minds of
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
 all over the
world
. In conclusion ,
People
 wearing
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
type
 of
attires
Fix the agreement mistake
attire
show examples
 all over the
world
 indicates a positive development as it avoids discrimination and brings all
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 under
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 umbrella.
Submitted by praveen.40612 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: