IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work
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It is generally accepted that people nowadays eat a lot of
junk
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food
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 and eating too much of
this
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 can be harmful to our health. While some believe that
education
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 can solve
this
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 problem, a significant number of people believe that
education
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 will not be effective. Today, there is an increasing number of people getting addicted to fast
food
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. Some of them don't acknowledge about how it is harmful to their health.
Therefore
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, educating people about the dangers of
junk
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food
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 could help them stop or at least reduce how much they eat. They will have a chance to know about the high levels of sugar, fat, and other things that are added to
junk
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food
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.
For example
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, if they were educated about the harmful effects
on
Suggestion
of
junk
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food
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 that are added to, they would be able to eat less or stop eating completely.
On the other hand
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,
education
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 will have no impacts on the people because they do not have enough time to prepare home-cook meals. Meanwhile,
junk
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food
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 is not only available
everywhere but
Accept comma addition
everywhere, but
also
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 a good choice for busy people who want instant meals.
For instance
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, some people who usually rush hours to go to work, they will have a tendency to eat out or purchase fast
food
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. To conclude, it seems that
education
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 is not enough to counter the harm caused by consuming
junk
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food
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 because an individual’s awareness of the risks is not enough to stop them from purchasing fast
food
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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