IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is no doubt that these days, the interest
of
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in
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education
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 and
health
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care
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 are becoming increasingly popular.
However
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 the question
: Should
Add a missing verb
is, Should
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educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
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 and
health
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 responsibility be free for all
people
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 or not? Is one of the most serious issues today. In
this
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 essay, we are going to discuss
this
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 phenomenon from both viewpoints and the reasons.
In addition
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, we will see why I partly agree with
this
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 trend. The first argument suggests that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing that
life
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 facilities,
such
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 as
education
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 and
care
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health
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, are funded by the government is that they
changes
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change
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 our
life
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for being
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to be
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 more comfortable.
For example
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, they will help poor
people
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 to live an easier
life
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 .Another particularly good example,
according to
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 a survey in developed countries, averages of death decreased when they made them free.They are
also
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 possible to say that they can support society to be successful as they will improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
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 and
people
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 will be healthier.
On the other hand
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, the second argument is considered an opposing case. It is commonly thought of
the
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as the
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 fact that free payment may lead to the carelessness of our
health
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. One good illustration, it can encourage adults to drink drugs.
People
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 often have
this
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 opinion
because
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because of
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 the bad quality of public
education
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 in some developing countries,
such
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 as Egypt. In conclusion, we clearly
saw
Wrong verb form
see
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 that there are no easy answers to these questions. In my opinion, I agree
with
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apply
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that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should spend all payments for
education
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 and
health
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care
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 because poor
people
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have
Add a missing verb
do have
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 not enough budgets to pay
although
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 we should
care
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 about ourselves. If we make a balance, we will change our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 for the better.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and structure. The essay should provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and outlines the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a good coverage of the topic and addresses the task requirements. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit and focused on the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay sufficiently presents relevant and specific ideas, but would benefit from a more structured approach to support the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • socioeconomic status
  • equal opportunities
  • financial burden
  • economically disadvantaged
  • public health expenditures
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • waiting times
  • government budgets
  • financial constraints
  • higher taxes
  • reallocation
  • privatization
  • quality services
  • inequality
  • fulfill responsibility
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