some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Today, many celebrities get paid higher bucks than politicians.
Also
, there are
few reasons
Suggestion
a few reasons
why famous personalities are earning more
money
?
First
and foremost, it shows their status and brand marketing across the
world
. I personally believe that
this
has been a positive development. On the one hand, why celebrities earn huge
money
? Mainly, famous personalities have created name and status through their
field especially
Accept comma addition
field, especially
in
entertainment industry
Suggestion
the entertainment industry
. Here, they get
opportunity
Suggestion
the opportunity
an opportunity
to earn wages in many
ways
Accept comma addition
ways, such
such
as adverts and other events apart from movies. Indeed, celebrities become role model
to
Suggestion
for
young generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
younger generation
younger generations
a younger generation
in
entire
Suggestion
the entire world
world
than politicians. Interestingly, in today's
world many
Accept comma addition
world, many
celebrities contributing some part of their earnings in the welfare of society or noble cause.
For Example
, currently whole
world
is suffering from
covid
-19 pandemic and here a majority of well known people are becoming a part by donating huge funds to public in different ways
such
as food and so on.
On the other hand
, noted celebrities from sports background
also
earn more
money
by their brand and marketing.
Moreover
, they are
more wealthier
Suggestion
wealthier
more wealthy
than politicians by their reputation.
Additionally
, sportsmen are advertising many great products like Nike and Adidas as many millions of people are following them.
Hence
, great celebrities like Cristiano Ronaldo and Rafael Nadal are establishing
sports academy
Suggestion
a sports academy
sports academies
and providing charities to many organisations.
For Instance
, recently
ronaldo
Suggestion
Ronaldo
has donated all restaurants for
public
Suggestion
the public
who are suffering from corona virus and made all them as hospitals. In Conclusion, entertainers are earning more
money
than politicians with their market value. I believe it has a positive effect on society as they are supporting many people and organisations and becoming
more wealthy
Suggestion
wealthier
.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • misbehave
  • professional sportsmen
  • role model
  • public figures
  • influence
  • performance
  • moral standards
  • media scrutiny
  • endorsements
  • personal brand
  • consistency
  • punishment
  • redemption
  • integrity
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