It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Taking risks is an integral step in the path leading to success, not only in professional life
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
one’s
personal life. Change preposition
in one’s
This
essay discusses positive
and negative aspects of the same, Correct article usage
the positive
however
I strongly concur with the recommendation that taking Add a comma
however,
chances
is important because they
Correct pronoun usage
it
open
new opportunities.
Some people have an opinion that one should be happy with what they have, and not put their current possessions at stake. Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
This
is true because taking risk
carefully Fix the agreement mistake
risks
while
assessing all possibilities is necessary, if not done in a correct manner it might lead to a humongous loss. Staying put and not being tempted by the chances
presented to you is a safer option as even if there is no gain, there is no potential no loss either. For instance
, a man who gets his salary decides to invest the money in the stock market. Investment always carries a certain amount of risk and he might end up losing all his money.
However
, on the contrary
, taking chances
might lead to greater opportunities and success. The man in the above example could have doubled his money if he invested it wisely. Moreover
, taking chances
is not limited to financial aspects, but
it is Correct word choice
apply
also
necessary in our personal lives. For example
, my parents were friends long before their marriage, but neither had the courage to express the love they had for each other, they did not want to risk losing the friendship. But one day my father decided to gather all his courage and confessed his feelings to my mother, and now they have been happily married for 27 years. Hence
, taking chances
can help you live the life that you have dreamt of.
In conclusion, taking risks has some disadvantages as it can lead to losses, it also
possesses a potential of
growth and can present new opportunities. Change preposition
for
Therefore
, in my opinion
the pros outweigh the cons.Add a comma
opinion,
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your main arguments. This will better guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and ensure your sentences flow smoothly. Proofreading could help reduce these errors and enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant and specific examples that support the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and coherent, with clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.