IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interactions today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #smartphones #interactions
Smartphones
 plays a vital role in our life. Despite having so many advantages of
smartphones
 some people think that
smartphones
 are spoiling social relations among people. I disagree with
this
 topic completely and
this
 essay will
discribe
give a description of
describe
 why
this
 stance has been taken
To begin
 with,
smartphones
 are invented for good cause, now people can talk with their dear ones face to face. These mobile devices have connected the whole world with the help of internet.
Moreover
, mobile phones have changed the way people used to remain in touch with each other.
For example
, two decades ago people who used to live far from their family had no
opition
the right to buy or sell property at an agreed price; the right is purchased and if it is not exercised by a stated date the money is forfeited
option
 to contact each other apart from postal mail and that service used to take almost one month to deliver. But now with the help of mobile phones it takes only five seconds to deliver the message to the other side.
On the other hand
, there are some reasons of why some people believe that mobile phones are destroying social interactions and the most pivotal reason is, people are now addicted of
smartphones
.
Thet
Suggestion
They
 spend long hours on social media and entertainment applications on mobile phones. To exemplify,
few years
Suggestion
a few years
 ago all family members used to watch television
together but
Accept comma addition
together, but
 now every member of
family
Suggestion
the family
a family
 is engaged in mobile phones. In fact, these devices have destroyed social relations
.
Accept space
.
 To conclude, technology like mobile phones have lots of advantages.
However
, it should use in
proper way
Suggestion
a proper way
 without destroying social relations.
Submitted by anilpotli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: