IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that young people should go to University to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as all builders et cetera to serve society discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #university #education #work #builders #cetera #society
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Graduating from
University
Use synonyms
 has always been admired as a symbol of higher studies in
professional way
Suggestion
a professional way
. Numerous people have debated whether youngsters should be motivated to seek for community related
work
Use synonyms
 or they should move forward with their academic studies to colleges. Personally, I strongly advocate the
later
referring to the second of two things or persons mentioned (or the last one or ones of several)
latter
 view.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides using examples from
UK government
Suggestion
the UK government
 and Oxford
university
Use synonyms
 to demonstrate points and arguments. On the one hand, there is ample, powerful evidence that
excepting
tolerating without protest
accepting
such
Linking Words
 jobs which gives hands on experience like builders or mechanics gives practical experience which can’t be taught by a book. The central reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is by doing
this
Linking Words
 kind of
work
Use synonyms
 before the
University
Use synonyms
, develops lots of contacts for a person with that one can look for any reference to apply
further
Linking Words
 in relevant sectors.
For example
Linking Words
,
UK government
Suggestion
the UK government
 has proved that people with
work
Use synonyms
 experience has more potential to find
work
Use synonyms
 for them self.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
, there are significant downsides of not going to
university
Use synonyms
 for
further
Linking Words
 studies.
However
Linking Words
 It’s multifold advantages cannot be denied. People before entering the
university
Use synonyms
 are
teenagers so
Accept comma addition
teenagers, so
 at
such
Linking Words
 a young
age there
Accept comma addition
age, there
 is more possibility of not having proficiency in
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
the work
. Due to that they will be scolded by their
owners which
Accept comma addition
owners, which
 result in losing confidence in
them
Accept comma addition
them, for
for
Linking Words
instance people
Accept comma addition
instance, people
 graduated from Oxford
university
Use synonyms
 are seen with respect as they have invested their many years in studying subjects with deep understanding. To encapsulate, from the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that continuing study after school, direct in
University
Use synonyms
 keeps a person on track.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, giving a gap in studies and start working gives an adverse impact on juveniles interest.
better
Suggestion
Better
 preparation makes a person more confident to complete the task
in
Suggestion
on
 their job.
Then
Linking Words
 they don’t have to depend on references to search for jobs.
Submitted by ja10606098 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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