Some people say that music is a good way of ringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Tomorrowland, one of the most well-known electronic dance

music

festival in the world, sold approximately 5000 tickets for almost every event in all around the world. The event

gather

Suggestion

gathers

has gathered

people from different countries in a single stadium, with people speaking different languages. Whether

music

has the ability to bring people with different cultural backgrounds and ages together has been a hot topic to argue.

This

essay is going to talk about the reasons why

music

can be and cannot be a way of gathering people together, and

furthermore

to give my opinion. It is no doubt that

music

is powerful and magical, as it has the mysterious energy to make us dance and move, or to make us cry and feel vulnerable. For some, if not many, of the songs in the world have no lyrics. It is simply composed of notes and rhythms, and

that is

it. Even though you do not speak the same language as the writer of the song, you could still feel the same feeling as the writer feels.

Therefore

music

could be a great way for

music

enthusiasts to connect with one another.

On the other hand

, for people that do not hold the same interest in that specific genre of

music

might not be able to gather individuals effectively. One of

the fine

Suggestion

the finest

example could be that a person who loves heavy metal

music

might not be able to connect with people who has a deep love in classical

music

This

can be explained by the personal interests that each individual holds, as simple as it sounds, people love to share the common experience with each other.

Inspite

Suggestion

In spite

of the fact that people with the same interest could be connected with

music

, physical barriers

such

as language and physical disorders associated with

old

Suggestion

older

ages, could be a big gap to hold them back. Even though pure

music

can link up people,

however

music

with lyrics still

require

Suggestion

requires

people to hold a common language in order to be able to understand.

Also

, it is still impossible for elderly who are physically incompetent to gather around. To sum up,

music

do have

Suggestion

does have

the ability of bringing people with different cultures and ages together, but it could only happen in specific circumstances. For

music

that lyrics are included, it is still impossible to hold people all together. Let not underestimate what

music

can do, it might still be possible to gather people all together in the future.

Submitted by thomaswy2000 on Fri Apr 10 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

412 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of ringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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