Many teenagers now have their smartphones. What are the advantages and disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's society, many youngsters become more frequent smartphone users just as it . Smartphone usage has become indispensable in modern life. There are benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
issue which I will explain more below. First of all, the benefit of youngsters using
smartphones
Use synonyms
is the ability to stay connected with family and acquaintances via messaging applications and video calling applications on social
media
Use synonyms
platforms.
For instance
Linking Words
, when young people are away from home, parents can monitor them via
smartphones
Use synonyms
, facilitating easier communication over long distances.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can communicate both individually and in groups as needed.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
includes memorable sharing moments and experiences in
this
Linking Words
modern world; they can swiftly and directly share photos, videos, and daily stories. on It is evident that social
media
Use synonyms
platforms
such
Linking Words
as Instagram stories or WhatsApp statuses keep , keeping their parents and friends informed about their activities.
However
Linking Words
, we must not overlook the drawbacks that could arise. The use of
smartphones
Use synonyms
in messaging apps and social
media
Use synonyms
without prudent usage can lead to terrible consequences.
For example
Linking Words
, improper use of social
media
Use synonyms
and messaging applications can lead to issues of oversharing and privacy concerns. Other examples can be seen; cyberbullying appears widespread on social
media
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
inadequate understanding of its proper use.
Additionally
Linking Words
, instances of online fraud cause significant material and psychological harm to those targeted through social
media
Use synonyms
or messaging platforms.
AdditionallyMoreover
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, there is a potential loss of face-to-face communication skills as individuals rely more on digital interactions rather than in-person communication. In conclusion,
smartphones
Use synonyms
have become a crucial tool for connecting today's youth, offering numerous conveniences.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, improper usage can
also
Linking Words
result in consequences.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay addresses the prompt very well by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers having smartphones. However, some sentences could benefit from rephrasing for clearer expression. For instance, "Other examples can be seen; cyberbullying appears widespread on social media due to inadequate understanding of its proper use." could be rephrased as: "Another example is the prevalence of cyberbullying on social media due to a lack of understanding of its proper use."
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, be cautious of minor grammatical errors and improper punctuation. For instance, in the sentence, "Moreover, this includes memorable sharing moments and experiences in this modern world; they can swiftly and directly share photos, videos, and daily stories," the phrase 'on It is evident that social media platforms...' seems out of place and should be revised.
task response
You provide relevant and specific examples that help to substantiate your ideas, such as mentioning Instagram stories and WhatsApp statuses for sharing moments and experiences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are presented effectively, clearly stating the intent and summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: