IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that some
students
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 choose vocational careers
such
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 as cooking or baking at an early stage in their lives. For these individuals, it is often suggested that studying their chosen occupation in high school is more beneficial than focusing on traditional academic
subjects
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.
Although
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 some may disagree with
this
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 view, I partly support it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that early vocational training can help
students
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 develop practical
skills
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 and career confidence. To illustrate, learning specialised techniques and gaining hands-on experience during high school may allow
students
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 to enter the workforce more quickly and competently.
For instance
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,
students
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 who train in culinary
skills
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 from a young age may graduate with professional abilities, making it easier for them to secure employment in restaurants or start their own businesses. Another point that should not be overlooked is that traditional academic
subjects
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 remain essential for
students
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’
overall
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 development. To clarify, knowledge of mathematics, language, and general education supports problem-solving, communication, and adaptability in the workplace.
For example
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, a future chef still needs numeracy
skills
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 to manage costs and strong language
skills
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 to communicate with customers and colleagues. Without
this
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 broader education,
students
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 may find it difficult to adjust if their career plans change later in life. To recapitulate, it is evident that studying vocational
subjects
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 in high school can provide practical advantages and career preparation,
while
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 regular academic
subjects
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 offer important transferable
skills
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that vocational training should be encouraged, but it should complement rather than replace traditional education in order to prepare
students
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 for long-term success.

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task
State your view clearly in the first line and keep it in mind as you write.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph and add a short example.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together and flow from one point to the next.
structure
Clear plan with intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
example
Uses real example from cooking to back up points.
balance
Shows both sides and gives a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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