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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many university students do part-time work while studying at university. Is this a positive or negative development?

#university #students #work #development
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It has been observed that the vast majority of college students have to opt
part
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time
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 jobs to support their miscellaneous tuition fees while finishing their degree. In my opinion,
this
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 is clearly a negative trend as students waste a lot of
time
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 doing unskilled jobs, which
otherwise
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 could be utilised in learning essential skills in the
school
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. Those who opine that doing
part
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time
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 jobs along with pursuing university
education
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 is beneficial, can easily point out to its invaluable
experience
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.
That is
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 to say, the side jobs not only help students to pay their massive tuition fees, but
also
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 aids them with unique real-life
experience
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, which is essentially required for the growth and development of the career.
For Instance
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, according to the research conducted by the University of British Columbia,
part
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time
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 jobs are advantageous for the international students as it teaches them about the different culture, language and religion, resulting in their better relationships with the people of the host country. Despite having advantages, working
part
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time
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 while pursuing university
education
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 has various negative impacts on the student’s life.
Firstly
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, it becomes very difficult for students to complete assignments and exams because they spend most of their
time
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 working,
instead
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 of concentrating on their
school
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education
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.
Thus
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, they end up getting
low grade
Suggestion
low grades
a low grade
, which definitely affects their future career.
Secondly
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, a majority of
part
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time
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 jobs are unskilled due to the fact that, all skilled jobs required either a bachelor’s degree or an
experience
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 in the relevant field. To exemplify, according to The New York Times, around 90% of the
school
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 students
are working
Suggestion
is working
 as a housekeeper, to support their higher studies. To conclude, most university students work
part
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time
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 to support their tuition fees or to gain a real
time
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experience
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.
However
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, their inability to focus on the
school
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education
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 for the sake of unskilled jobs, makes me feel that
this
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 trend is mainly negative.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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