IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Health experts believe that walking is good exercise forhealth .However, people are walking less nowadays. Why is this hoppening?How can people be encouroged to walk more?

#health #experts #exercise #forhealth #people
Regular physical exercise is a vital part of maintaining our health and wellbeing. Yet, we are walking much lesser per day than our parents and grandparents used to do.
This
 essay intends to look into the causes behind
this
 phenomenon, and suggest some ways to motivate people to walk more.There are many reasons why people shun walking.
Firstly
, everyone is very busy nowadays. There are too many pressures and people have become workaholics. Another reason is that everything is spread out. We live far from the places we need to go. We have to
drive
 to work. We have to
drive
 to the grocery store. We have to
drive
 our children to school. More time spent driving, means less time spent on other activities, including walking. On top of that, we don't walk because the car is right there.
ln short
Accept comma addition
Long, short
Long short
On short
Ln short
, we
drive
 because we no longer have to walk.
Finally
, most people who want to walk but don't, is because it is not safe to walk. Modern cities are not built with the pedestrian in mind. To encourage people to walk, it has to be made safer. People need to feel that walking is a safe, pleasant and convenient way for short journeys.
lf
Suggestion
Of
Life
Lf
 walking feels like a dangerous hassle, no one would like to walk.Why would somebody choose to walk the half-mile to the shops, if they have to wait at three or four separate 'red man' lights to cross one road, while their neighbour who took the car gets to cross the same junction in one go? The onus is on the governments to redesign the cities and have pavements on the sides of the roads for people who wish to walk.
Furthermore
, people have to be made aware of the potential health benefits associated with regular walking. Walking is good for our brain, our fitness, our memory, our longevity, our blood pressure, and our general health.
This
 can be done through the media
such
 as the TV. Parks can be made and maintained by the authorities to encourage people to go for morning and evening walks.To sum up, there are many reasons why people don't walk, but effective measures can be taken to

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: