IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages ?

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There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over
peer
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pressure
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.
While
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 some claim that
peer
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pressure
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 plays a significant role in people’s lives, the opposite makes a statement that it has clear drawbacks. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
peer
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pressure
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 cannot overshadow its advantages. Without a shadow of a doubt,
peer
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pressure
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 can play a significant role in personal growth among young people.
And the
Correct word choice
The
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 explanation for
this
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 could be that when surrounded by high-achieving peers, individuals may feel inspired to set higher goals for themselves.
This
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 can lead to positive outcomes,
such
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 as improved academic performance, participation in healthy
activities
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, and the adoption of beneficial habits.
For instance
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, students may be encouraged to study harder or engage in extracurricular
activities
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due to
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 the positive influence of their peers.
Therefore
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,
peer
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pressure
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 is important for
self improvement
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self-improvement
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.
While
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 the advantages of
peer
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pressure
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 are widely acknowledged, its counterparts still linger.
This
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 is probably because
peer
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pressure
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 can lead to the adoption of harmful
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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such
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 as smoking, drinking, drug use and reckless driving. To be more specific, a student starts drinking and smoking at parties to fit in with a new group of friends, leading to declining grades and risky
behaviors
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behaviours
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 like reckless driving after drinking.
This
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 shift illustrates how
peer
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pressure
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 can push adolescents towards harmful
activities
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.
Hence
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, the disadvantages of
peer
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pressure
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 can be substantial. In conclusion,
while
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peer
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pressure
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 can influence positive behaviors and motivate individuals toward personal growth, the potential
of
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for
show examples
 negative outcomes is substantial
such
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 as the risk of engaging in harmful
activities
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.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the conclusion could be a bit more detailed to effectively summarize your argument and reinforce the main points.
task achievement
You provide both advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure and clearly state your opinion. To enhance your task achievement, consider expanding on examples and providing more detailed explanations to support your points.
task achievement
You effectively present a balanced view of peer pressure by discussing both its advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a coherent structure and flows logically from one idea to the next, making it easy to follow your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • behavior
  • age group
  • peer pressure
  • distinct
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • motivate
  • excel
  • positive behaviors
  • substance abuse
  • bullying
  • risky activities
  • belonging
  • acceptance
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • low self-esteem
  • conform
  • individuality
  • personal growth
  • decision-making skills
  • situations
  • resist
  • healthy balance
  • personal development
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