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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
Some people argue that foreigners should compensate more money for tickets of artistic and historical monuments in today's complex society.
Personally I
Accept comma addition
Personally, I
, completely disagree with
this
 point of view for a range of reasons. It is no doubt true that it is utterly essential for mankind to utilize ethnic and ancient buildings to know not only their culture but
also
 others.
First
 and
foremost it
Accept comma addition
foremost, it
 could be argued that demanding more fee from tourists could possibly dissatisfy them about our
country
 and make them feel discriminated. It would appear that tourists come to our
country
 in order to know our culture,
such
 as monuments, ancient buildings
,
Accept space
,
museums which allow them to introduce our culture to others. Viewed from
this
 angel, if foreign visitors are forced to pay more money than
locals
Suggestion
the locals
, in
this
 case they are most likely to be disappointed about our nation.
For example
,
Accept space
,
it has been shown that the number of foreign visitors
are decreasing
Suggestion
is decreasing
 due to high ticket fees in Turkey. Another important reason could be thought that making ticket fees higher for tourists would probably affect
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 of
country
Suggestion
the country
 in a bad aspect. It is evident that a great part of
country's budget
Suggestion
the country's budget
a country's budget
 comes from tourism
sector which
Accept comma addition
sector, which
 means it is important to make tourists satisfy about our
country
.
As a result
 of
this
 fact, in case government is compelled to make fees equal for both tourists and locals, in
this
 respect tourism field of
country
Suggestion
the country
 is on the verge of being ascended.
For example
, in Germany, ticket fees are same for locals and foreigners, and
this
 makes all use
this
 attractions by with pleasure. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
it is understandable that fees for tickets of
this
attractions
Suggestion
attraction
 should be equal for several reasons mentioned above.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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