IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitors attraction site.

the maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitors attraction site.
#maps #show #mine #redevelopment #visitors #attraction #site
The maps illustrate the redevelopment project of a coal
mine
 into a tourist attraction park. The original coal
mine
 had various
sites
. The
entrance
 of a
mine
 was located in the north between the lunch and changing rooms in the west and one of the
waste
sites
 in the east. Going south from the
mine
entrance
 there was a medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in the west and another
waste
 site in the east.
According to
 the map after the redevelopment of the
mine
, several buildings were repurposed.
Mine
entrance
 became the
entrance
 to the attraction park,
while
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 was transformed into a café.
Correct article usage
The lunch
show examples
Lunch room
Correct your spelling
Lunchroom
show examples
 and staff changing room merged together into a museum. Apart from repurposing
mine’s
Correct article usage
the mine’s
show examples
 facilities, there was a complete demolition of two
waste
sites
. On the place of
waste
 site
1
Add a comma
, 1
show examples
the driving circuit was built, and just
next
 to it, on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste
 site 2, a pond can be seen now.
In addition
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
sites
 were developed. A playground for kids was built from scratch on the previously empty area in the
south-east
Correct your spelling
southeast
show examples
.
Moreover
,
walking
Correct article usage
a walking
show examples
 track was added between the
entrance
 and the driving circuit.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mine, sites, entrance, waste with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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