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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors
Happiness is a state of mind that many masses can easily get but for many others it would be different. Some people opine that a
person
 is responsible for their own happiness while another thinks that the external factors creates happiness.
However
, I believe that the internal as well as external factors are responsible for happiness. In
this
 essay, I intend to delve some reasons for it. To initiate with, every
person
 has their own view to see things, ideas and perception. In the holy book of Hindus, The Bhagwagita
also
 had explained through "Tunde Tunde Mani Bhinnaha!" Mean that every
person
 have different mind. A good
person
 is who adopt changes easily and move on from the past.
For example
, in my neighbourhood, the one family has been living since 2000 but the breadwinner of his family died due to diseases. The old
person
 who had already retired 2 years ago, now understood that he needed to go to work to feed the family. They adopted Change. On opposite view, the external factors like as finance, health, environment and so on
also
 affect a lot. Many families do not have enough money to survive and provide basic necessities
although
 they goes for work. Some masses have health problem and suffer from decease. The recent Corona epidemic is a good example. At that time, so many families lost their family members, friends, brothers, sisters and
also
 children, but at
last
 all come up and deed new start of life. The environmental factor is Paramount become from it within a
second
 life has been changed.
For example
, in the earthquake of 2011, homes and properties were lost by everyone. It took nearly one or two minutes to destroy the all money which was earned whole life. Everywhere only seen is knocked houses and dead bodies. To sum up, it has been said that with time passes, every wound of the body will recover but the condition is solely positive attitude.
Submitted by jaygabani122333 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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