One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

Nowadays, We are living in a modern era and best technologies can be found

day

. Our

life

would be going too easily with the help of these plethora of technologies. One of the major situation is improved in health care field is that due to better treatment and medicines today's human are living

healthier

Suggestion

a healthier life

healthier lives

life

and increasing

expectancy

life

. I think that the merits outweigh the demerits.

To begin

with, there are several drawbacks of longer

life

expectancy

. The main con is that due to better medical care older people population growing rapidly and

this

ratio can be increasing

day

. Older people need more facility and medical treatment and they get more sick as days passed. So, number of nurses and doctors can be busy to improve

older people situation

Suggestion

the older person's situation

older person's situation

an older person's situation

older peoples' situation

and

also

government take care of

senior citizen

Suggestion

a senior citizen

senior citizens

to helping them financially and provide pension insurance and etc. So, in the future pension insurance system would be

disappear

Suggestion

disappearing

because

government

Suggestion

the government

lost a lot of funds.

Moreover

, sometimes due to medicine side effects older people may

get in stressed

Suggestion

get stressed

and their body cannot

suppport

give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to

support

supports

supported

them

Suggestion

doing a better work.

However

, I think that the benefits outweigh the cons. New technologies and research make everyone's

life

more easier than past decades. Increasing

life

expectancy always help

Suggestion

expectancy, always helps

expectancy always helps

in some or another way. Older people

has

Suggestion

have

have had

many advantages to the individual, their family and society. The main pro is in

family we

Suggestion

the family, we

the family we

have to need

older people hand

Suggestion

an older person's hand

older person's hand

older person's hands

on our head and they guide their family members as different situations.

Firstly

, the obvious benefit of

this

is that people can live longer

life

with their family and explore different destinations as family demands. Older people get a more time to spend quality time with their family.

Secondly

, Senior person experience

get

Suggestion

gets

benefit

Suggestion

the benefit

for

Suggestion

family and society.

For example

, in tough situations we

are always get

Suggestion

are always getting

always get

have always gotten

have always got

advice

from older people and their

advice

cannot be wrong at all in any circumstances. Moving

further

, Older people give valuable

advice

and emotional support to

younger generation

Suggestion

younger generations

the younger generation

a younger generation

in difficult times. Another main advantage is that grandchildren spend more times with their grandfather and grandmother and they

also

teach valuable skills and cultural values. We can alive our culture best to give

advice

our younger generation. Government can

also

benefit from older people.They may make them more productive by increasing the retirement age or by employing them in non-labour work. Many older people

are start

Suggestion

are starting

start

have started

their own business after their retirement and give some useful information from

business

Suggestion

the business

businesses

. To sum up, thanks to the enhanced medical facilities due to which we now live longer and be part of the progress.

This

enhanced

life

expectancy

is a blessing for the human race.

Although

longer

life

expectancy

is not without

cons but

Accept comma addition

cons, but

refers to the speaker or writer

think that the upsides will justify these.

Sun Apr 12 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

475 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people think that ambition is essential for success. To what extent do you agree?

Although many people value public parks, some argue that this space could be better used for housing or businesses to support the growing population and economy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.