IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
People hold different views about the main function of museums should be whether entertaining people or serving for educating purposes. In my opinion, it is better for museums to reconcile two factors described above. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that entertainment plays an indispensable role in museums recently.
Firstly
,
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 can be seen as a tourist attraction in which people find their pleasure from savouring fascinating collection of exhibits.
In other words
, almost of people take a visit at museums to enjoy myself
instead
 of getting academic knowledge.
Secondly
, integrating amusement into traditional exhibitions makes it easier for museums attract people’s attention, especially the younger generation.
Finally
, visitors who come to museums to seek entertainment may find themselves learning more than their expectation.
On the other hand
, educating people is
also
 an internal part of a
museum
.
Museum
Suggestion
The museum
 provides the valuable information about history, culture or science to visitors via a variety of ways. The commentaries and storytelling,
for instance
, always give participants the knowledge that they have never known before.
Additionally
, tangible objects and collections that can be genuinely seen and touched make
museum
 to be an ideal place for people to study as it offers people the precise views about history and other aspects. It is obvious that without
museum
 it is very difficult for people to find other places that have the same learning advantages. In conclusion, it seems to me that museums should combine education and entertainment
instead
 of splitting them into two separate parts.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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