IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the changes, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007

The diagram below shows the changes, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007
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The maps show the changes, which accrued in a coastal town,
Pentland
Use synonyms
 between 1950 and 2007. It can be seen that the area developed a lot in the given period of 57 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Pentland
Use synonyms
 was an industrial area flattened around it and grassland to the west. Over the period, the
Pentland
Use synonyms
 was completely transformed with the addition of a
park
Use synonyms
, shop and cinema;
however
Linking Words
, the eastern part of the
Pentland
Use synonyms
 was
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
knocked-down
Correct your spelling
knocked down
show examples
 and after was constructed apartments and shops. The most noticeable additions were the multi-storey, car
park
Use synonyms
, swimming pool,
Use synonyms
park
Correct word choice
and park
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of industrial area in the northwest between 1950 and 2007. Grassland was cleared
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 after was built shops and cinema. A car
park
Use synonyms
 was replaced
apartments
Change preposition
with apartments
show examples
 on the east coast of the
Pentland
Use synonyms
. Grassland was
put-down
Correct your spelling
put down
show examples
 after being
instead
Linking Words
 of reconstructed shops and houses
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
57 years.
In addition
Linking Words
, Yach Marina was built near the sea on the north.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pentland, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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