IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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According to some individuals, Employees should pay
attention
Use synonyms
 to the quality of work rather than employers’ clothes.
Linking Words
However I
Accept comma addition
However, I
 think that companies with employers putting on nasty clothes is more successful. On the one hand, some people believe that every employer turns to focus on its appearance is just
waste
Suggestion
a waste
 of
time
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. Because, in the workplaces there may be workers who work in an industrial
zones
Suggestion
zone
, and
there
Suggestion
they're
 wearing smart clothes is not necessary. If workers pay
attention
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 to style of clothes, there, they may lose some
time
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.
Moreover
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, some smart clothes are not convenient in industrial
zone which
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zone, which
 may cause workers to lose energy to clean them. Thereby, it might be true that only senior position workers should put on nasty clothes. From another angle, to my mind there are lots of effective sides of that every employer of any organization wears nasty clothes.
For instance
Linking Words
, somehow they may advertise their products or their workplace thanks to wearing smart clothes. Because well-dressed workers may leave positive comments on customers.
Nowadays major
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Nowadays, major
 part of consumers
pays
Suggestion
pay
are paying
attention
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 products’ background features
such
Linking Words
 as their package or advertisement. If workers pay
attention
Use synonyms
 their clothes deeply, costumers may think that the products are made by professional workers. Striking
example can
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example, can
 be KFS. Every worker of KFS
put
Suggestion
puts
 on smart clothes from cooker till worker who take products to customer. Owing to
this
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 aspect they have gained a lot of consumers. To conclude,
although
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 wearing smart clothes at any
time
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 in
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
 is sometimes thought as
waste
Suggestion
a waste
 of
time
Use synonyms
, I consider it has so many other beneficial causes, due to its good advertisement aspect.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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