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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows information about different species of birds observed in Woodchuck County at different times of the year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons.

The chart below shows information about different species of birds observed in Woodchuck County at different times of the year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons.
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The table below demonstrates various bird species like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Bluebirds, Cardinals, Crows, Mockingbirds, etc. Observed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Woodchuck county in
winter
Use synonyms
 and summer.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, the migration scheme of eight different bird species
monitored
Add a missing verb
was monitored
show examples
. At the first point, The table facilitates the
birds
Use synonyms
' instinctive tendency to migrate in accordance with weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 which is imperative for their nesting and breeding.
Although
Linking Words
 the majority of
birds
Use synonyms
 prefer to migrate
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 warmer seasons, some
birds
Use synonyms
 like Cardinals, Crows, Juncos, and Woodpeckers tend to migrate in
winter
Use synonyms
 either.
In particular
Linking Words
, the Juncos are the only
birds
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list
those
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 only migrate in
winter
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the Bluebirds follow
reverse
Correct article usage
the reverse
show examples
 order.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the Mockingbirds, Orioles,
Vireos
Correct word choice
and Vireos
show examples
fascinating
Add a missing verb
have fascinating
show examples
 favourable conditions and naturally desire Warmer places for raising their young. As a conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some species like Mockingbirds only migrate in summer, a minority (Cardinals
for instance
Linking Words
)
longing
Replace the word
long
show examples
 to trip
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
winter
Use synonyms
 too. It might be
due to
Linking Words
 the air condition of their former habitat, which is much colder than the destination.
However
Linking Words
, it remains a vague matter because the innate features of the
birds
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 be grafted onto
this
Linking Words
 study.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words winter, birds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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