IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people argue that smoking should be banned due to its harmful effects on human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #effects #health
It is often argued that smoking should be prohibited because of the adverse effect on people's
health
.
This
 essay agrees with the idea that cigarette should be forbidden. The essay will
first
 show that people can be negatively affected by cigarettes, and
then
 it will demonstrate why it is necessary to impose a ban on smoking.
Firstly
, it is true that using cigarettes must not be allowed due to their adverse effect for people's
health
.
This
 is because cigarettes contain a variety of toxic chemicals, including nicotine, which is able to damage people’s lung.
As a result
, people may suffer from various types of respiratory diseases, even
fatal diseases
Accept comma addition
fatal, diseases
 like lung cancer, if they smoke as their daily routine.
For example
, in Vietnam, smoking is the reason for more than 40000 deaths every year, and most of these cases are lung cancer.
Secondly
,
that is
 necessary for people to place a
forbiddance
good-natured tolerance of delay or incompetence
forbearance
 on smoking in order to alleviate the problems in terms of human
health
. The reason is that if cigarette users stop smoking, their risk of suffering from hazardous ailments relating to their respiratory system can be reduced significantly.
Moreover
, people who do not smoke actively are
also
 less likely to sniff harmful gases from cigarettes, because passive smokers can face with greater risks than active smokers, especially pregnant women, children and old people.
Consequently
, there are the reasons why many countries have put a ban on smoking, particularly in public places like schools and hospitals, and anyone who violates can be heavily fined. In conclusion, smoking is able to cause negative impacts for human
health
, so forbidding smoking is the action that should be implemented as soon as possible.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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