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Band 5

Some people become famous at a very young age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #age
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With the advent of media and technology, it is getting easier for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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kids
Use synonyms
 to become famous as one can become a celebrity overnight with his unique talent. Certainly,
this
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 aids
children
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 with love and support from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 all over the world
along with
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 earning money, but there will
also
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 be some drawbacks. One evident benefit of gaining popularity for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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 at an earlier age is that it brings them a fortune.
That is
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 to say, it not only offers them love and affection from
the
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apply
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people
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 sitting across the globe
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 helps them to become independent by earning money for themselves.
Thus
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,
such
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children
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 can help their parents by supporting them economically,
along with
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 paying their own tuition fees.
For instance
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, Sachin Tendulkar, a famous Indian Cricketer, was selected to play at the State Level, when he was 9 years old,
due to
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 his exceptional performance in the school cricket matches.
Further
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, in his Autobiography, he disclosed that he was using his childhood income to support his family and education. On the other
hands
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hand
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, there are various drawbacks of Stardom on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
children
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.
Firstly
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, it is less likely for them to focus on their education, once they become
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
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, which means they will not be able to gain the essential life skills taught in the schools, resulting in a negative impact on their career.
Secondly
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, star
kids
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 do not have privacy
of
Change preposition
in
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personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
In other words
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, media journalist follows
the
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apply
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famous stars everywhere, even if they are going out with their friends and family, which sometimes is very annoying.
Therefore
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, celebrity
kids
Use synonyms
 have to
very
Add a missing verb
be very
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 careful, with their actions and words,
otherwise
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, their fame can be devastating in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fraction of
Correct article usage
a seconds
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seconds
Fix the agreement mistake
second
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.
To conclude
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, publicity can be considered beneficial for
kids
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 as it helps them in making
the
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apply
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money
along with
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 getting
the
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apply
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fame.
However
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, the lack of privacy and limited education
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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people
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 feel that it is not advantageous for
the
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apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Provide a clear thesis statement that addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of children becoming famous at a young age. Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on either an advantage or a disadvantage, and provide specific examples to support each point.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization and connection between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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