Some people become famous at a very young age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
With the advent of media and technology, it is getting easier for
the
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kids
to become famous as one can become a celebrity overnight with his unique talent. Certainly, this
aids children
with love and support from the
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people
all over the world along with
earning money, but there will also
be some drawbacks.
One evident benefit of gaining popularity for the
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children
at an earlier age is that it brings them a fortune. That is
to say, it not only offers them love and affection from the
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people
sitting across the globe,
but Remove the comma
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also
helps them to become independent by earning money for themselves. Thus
, such
children
can help their parents by supporting them economically, along with
paying their own tuition fees. For instance
, Sachin Tendulkar, a famous Indian Cricketer, was selected to play at the State Level, when he was 9 years old, due to
his exceptional performance in the school cricket matches. Further
, in his Autobiography, he disclosed that he was using his childhood income to support his family and education.
On the other hands
, there are various drawbacks of Stardom on Fix the agreement mistake
hand
the
young Correct article usage
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children
. Firstly
, it is less likely for them to focus on their education, once they become celebrity
, which means they will not be able to gain the essential life skills taught in the schools, resulting in a negative impact on their career. Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
Secondly
, star kids
do not have privacy of
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in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
In other words
, media journalist follows the
famous stars everywhere, even if they are going out with their friends and family, which sometimes is very annoying. Correct article usage
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Therefore
, celebrity kids
have to very
careful, with their actions and words, Add a missing verb
be very
otherwise
, their fame can be devastating in the
fraction of Correct article usage
a
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a seconds
seconds
.
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second
To conclude
, publicity can be considered beneficial for kids
as it helps them in making the
money Correct article usage
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along with
getting the
fame. Correct article usage
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However
, the lack of privacy and limited education makes
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make
people
feel that it is not advantageous for the
young Correct article usage
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people
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task response
Provide a clear thesis statement that addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of children becoming famous at a young age. Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on either an advantage or a disadvantage, and provide specific examples to support each point.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization and connection between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?