Write a letter to the local school in your neighborhood to give suggestions about improving its buildings and play area. Include Why they should be improved Suggestions for how When they could be improved

#school #neighborhood #suggestions #buildings #area

Dear Sir or Madam, I am Jaspreet Kaur and I lives at

the

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apply

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6341 173a Street, Surrey BC, which is close near to your

school

. I am writing

this

letter to suggest some improvements regarding the

school

building and the playground. I hope you will take my suggestions in a positive way and make the desired amendments to improve the infrastructure of the

school

. My daughter is in grade five at your

school

. Recently, she got

fever

Correct article usage

a fever

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and running nose because of the heating issues in the

school

building. I talked with the other parents and they are

also

claiming that their kids are facing

such

issues due to

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of heating facilities in the building.

Additionally

, some of the rides in the play zone

are

Correct your spelling

area

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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faulty condition, despite we are paying extra sports fees to the

school

separately. I thought

this

matter requires your urgent attention.

Therefore

, I want you to install a new furnace in the building as soon as possible, so that, kids

don

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show examples

not have to face the same problem again.

Furthermore

, I

also

want you to consider upgrading the

playzone’s

Correct your spelling

play zones

play zone's

toys because they are essential for the development of

Add an article

the child

a child

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child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

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. I hope you will get it done as soon as possible. I along with the other neighbours have decided that we would give you two months to work on it and if the problem is still not fixed, we would report it to the higher level. I look forward

hearing

Change preposition

to hearing

show examples

from you. Yours Faithfully, Jaspreet Kaur

Tue Apr 14 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Write a letter to the local school in your neighborhood to give suggestions about improving its buildings and play area. Include Why they should be improved Suggestions for how When they could be improved

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some societies the number of crime committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some school leavers go traveling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think this has more advantages, or disadvantages on their study？