Write a letter to the local school in your neighborhood to give suggestions about improving its buildings and play area. Include Why they should be improved Suggestions for how When they could be improved

#school #neighborhood #suggestions #buildings #area

Dear Sir or Madam, I am Jaspreet Kaur and I lives at

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

6341 173a Street, Surrey BC, which is close near to your

school

. I am writing

this

letter to suggest some improvements regarding the

school

building and the playground. I hope you will take my suggestions in a positive way and make the desired amendments to improve the infrastructure of the

school

. My daughter is in grade five at your

school

. Recently, she got

fever

Correct article usage

a fever

show examples

and running nose because of the heating issues in the

school

building. I talked with the other parents and they are

also

claiming that their kids are facing

such

issues due to

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of heating facilities in the building.

Additionally

, some of the rides in the play zone

are

Correct your spelling

area

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

faulty condition, despite we are paying extra sports fees to the

school

separately. I thought

this

matter requires your urgent attention.

Therefore

, I want you to install a new furnace in the building as soon as possible, so that, kids

don

Correct your spelling

show examples

not have to face the same problem again.

Furthermore

, I

also

want you to consider upgrading the

playzone’s

Correct your spelling

play zones

play zone's

toys because they are essential for the development of

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

. I hope you will get it done as soon as possible. I along with the other neighbours have decided that we would give you two months to work on it and if the problem is still not fixed, we would report it to the higher level. I look forward

hearing

Change preposition

to hearing

show examples

from you. Yours Faithfully, Jaspreet Kaur

Tue Apr 14 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

253 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Recently, a growining issue regarding health problems has taken sharp curve. people are trying to use medicines and tablets which they think as a alternative source for their health problem instead contacting medical professional. This essay will discuss some of the reasons why i completely think its negative developemnt
4
band
Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both these views and give our own opinion.
There is no doubt that these days students in the secondary school study diffrent subject too learn them and develop them becoming very popular worldwide. However, the question remains, is the international news as subjects is beneficial for a studens or it was west ther time? Is considered one of the most controversial problems todays. This essay will be examining both sides of this issue and will draw my personal conclusion.
4
band
Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, everyone ought to have the possibility to enrol at the University without considering academic skills. Supporting each student can improve the education level of the country. This essay completely agrees with that statement. I believe that all students can have the chance to start University and understand if they want to follow the study or go to work.
5
band
In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Distributing tax-payer money is an incredibly difficult task that divide opinions. It divides opinions between people arguing that government should fund mostly education, while others argue that most of the investment should be in health or transportation. Not just that, nowadays, many people defend that the government should be minimal and most of these services should be offered mostly by the private sector.
8
band
You saw an advertise in a newspaper about a vacancy in a local restaurant, searching for a chef to their kitchen. You would like to do some work at the diner. Write a letter to the owner of the restaurant saying you would like to work at his business. In your letter: • explain why you would like to do this kind of work (1) • say what type of work you have experience with (2) • give details on how the owner may contact you. (3)
I'm writing with regard to a job offer in your establishment, announced in a local paper which I would like to apply to.

Write a letter to the local school in your neighborhood to give suggestions about improving its buildings and play area. Include Why they should be improved Suggestions for how When they could be improved

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both these views and give our own opinion.

Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.