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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #health
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There is a lingering debate over whether schools are enough to give kids lessons on the topic of
health
Use synonyms
. Some people consider schools do not have well-trained teachers and proper equipment to teach the youth about
health
Use synonyms
. To see if
this
Linking Words
 practice should be considered, we need to take numerous perspectives into account. There is no difficulty in understanding why some people argue that schools are not capable of offering students courses about
health
Use synonyms
. Due to insufficient well-trained teachers, it is hard to teach kids the right concepts of how to lead a healthy life. If unprofessional teachers give students lessons on
health
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 impedes kids from learning
since
Suggestion
from
 the class may include some fault concepts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some schools lack proper equipment or teaching resources. Students will find it challenging to realize the core concepts of
health
Use synonyms
 since assistant tools,
such
Linking Words
 as visual aids or medical facilities, contribute to better learning effectiveness. On the other side, we cannot be blinded by disadvantages because still many advantages are worth noticing.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, physical education provided by schools enhances
kids
Suggestion
kids'
 body strength. Students may recognize that exercise benefits the body
health
Use synonyms
 in significant ways. Not only does it eliminate the toxin out of the body, but it
also
Linking Words
 increases stamina to perform vigorous activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
schools
Suggestion
the schools
 will teach kids some basic concepts.
For instance
Linking Words
, students should wash their hands before eating, or if contacting cold, they should wear a mask to protect themselves and others.
Also
Linking Words
, some schools offer nutritious meals,
such
Linking Words
 as green vegetables, dry fruits, and lean meat, in school. Kids will better realize what kinds of food is wholesome. Despite some arguments about schools do not arm with proper teaching sources about
health
Use synonyms
 and well-trained teachers;
however
Linking Words
, from my perspective, I believe schools can teach students about
health
Use synonyms
 as offering physical education, teaching some basic knowledge, and giving a wholesome diet.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health education
  • Curriculum
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Hygiene
  • Practical skills
  • Responsibility
  • Collaboration
  • Long-term benefits
  • Reduced healthcare costs
  • Academic performance
  • Well-being
  • Comprehensive health programs
  • Positive outcomes
What to do next:
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