IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealt with globally. Others think that they should be solved locally. What is your opinion?

#people
Although
 some are of the opinion that environmental conundrums should be tackled on an international level, others claim that they can be solved domestically. In my opinion, I believe that these
problems
 have to be dealt with internationally because the effects are amazing.
Firstly
, fixing environmental issues can be costly, so it is crucial to work together internationally. Take climate change,
for example
.
Everyone
 contributes to it, and stopping it requires costly changes,
such
 as using cleaner energy and adapting infrastructure. If
countries
 team up, they can share the costs, making it easier for
everyone
. By doing
this
, we can find affordable solutions that help the entire planet.
Secondly
, when people from all around the world work together, they can share what they know.
In each
Change preposition
Each
show examples
country
 has its own smart ideas and facts.
For instance
, when scientists from different
countries
 team up to study a big problem, namely deforestation, each
country
 has its own smart ideas and facts. By putting all these together, they can make better plans to stop cutting too many trees.
Hence
, when
everyone
 shares what they know, it helps solve big
problems
 like taking care of our forests.
Finally
, when
countries
 work together, they can solve
problems
 that bother
everyone
. To illustrate, when the air gets too dirty, and it travels across borders, it is not just one
country
's issue. All the
countries
 breathing that air need to team up to make it cleaner.
Thus
, when they share ideas and help each other out, it's like fixing a big puzzle together. With
this
,
everyone
 can enjoy cleaner air, and it is not too hard
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 just one
country
 to make it happen. Undoubtedly, teamwork makes solving these shared
problems
 much easier for
everyone
.
To sum up
,
while
 people may vary in their opinions, I think that environmental issues should be fixed internationally because of its fast
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Strive to fully address the prompt with a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument if the question requires a discussion rather than an opinion. This will ensure a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
Your essay should present a clear position throughout the response. Be mindful to express a more nuanced perspective, particularly if the prompt requires a discussion of different views.
task achievement
Develop ideas more thoroughly with a mix of general statements and specific examples. Enhance your argumentation with precise illustrations from credible sources to increase the effectivity of your examples.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear and logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively, with each one centered around a single main idea. Transition between paragraphs smoothly to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are distinct and effectively frame your argument. Your introduction should clearly state your opinion or the scope of your discussion, while your conclusion should summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support main points consistently with relevant explanations and examples. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea that is expanded upon, offering depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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