IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
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Now a days
Suggestion
Nowadays
, the monetary value and the free
time
Use synonyms
 availability have become two vital factors for a human living. While, some people contend that being wealthy is propitious than having a more free slot available in one's life, yet, others argue on the opposite shore. I believe putting
both
Use synonyms
 of these elements on a scale of satisfaction is really difficult,
hence
Linking Words
, we need a balance of these for our happiness. In
this
Linking Words
 essay we will discuss
both
Use synonyms
 the views and will draw an inference. Can I compromise on my salary for more leisure
time
Use synonyms
?
of
Suggestion
Of
 course not.
Money
Use synonyms
 is a predominant essential of anyone's
prioirty
status established in order of importance or urgency
priority
property
. People who advocate on
former point
Suggestion
the former point
, states that, if they have
money
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they will be able to buy anything without a compromise,
moreover
Linking Words
, having more
money
Use synonyms
give
Suggestion
gives
 them a social status and recognition in the society. Having less
time
Use synonyms
 will ensure optimum utilization of
this
Linking Words
 free slot, rather than wasting it. To illustrate, after doing a hard work for
whole week
Suggestion
a whole week
the whole week
, families utilize the weekends to the fullest.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people can make more
money
Use synonyms
, and enjoy the holidays and weekends to their desires. Is
money
Use synonyms
 everything? No.
Their
Suggestion
There
 is a group which believes that enjoying life is more important than putting it in a
Use synonyms
time table
a schedule listing events and the times at which they will take place
timetable
 and calendar. When a person becomes
more busy
Suggestion
busier
 to stay wealthy, the family faces the
consquences
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
consequences
. To illustrate, in most houses where
both
Use synonyms
 the parents are working and do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their kids during weekdays, the kids develop a feeling of isolation.
This
Linking Words
 will have a dire consequence
on
Suggestion
of
for
to
 the
next
Linking Words
 generation's health. Having said, it is evident that spending enough free
time
Use synonyms
 is much
important
Suggestion
more important
 than the riches. To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that importance of financial strength and free
time
Use synonyms
 is different for everyone.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that having a balance of
both
Use synonyms
 of these is paramount, while making
money
Use synonyms
 one should not get so infused in his work that he forgets to live his life.
Submitted by nidhidel83 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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