IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Government should spend more money on education that on recreation and sports. Di you agree or disagree

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
One of the widely discussed issues at the moment is the
money
 that the
government
 should spend more on
education
 than on recreation and sports.Now people are beginning to understand that
this
 is the right decision.Personally, I need to think that
this
 is the best decision that the
government
 has ever made.
First
, it is well known that all people should get a secondary
education
.I mean, in order to have a good job, we have to learn, we have to be smart.
On the other hand
, it can
also
 be argued that if the
government
 spends more
money
 for
education
 it attracts foreign tourists especially students to the country.
That is
, if we have a lot of
money
 for
education
, we will receive scholarships, including free tuition, and our students will be trained by one of the best professors in the world.
This
 increases the economy of countries and raises people's salaries.Take the example of European countries. They have the best
education
 in the world and their quality of life is much better than ours and the rest of the
second
 and
third
 world countries. In conclusion, taking into account all of the above in our final analysis, I can say that I agree that the
government
 is spending more
money
 on
education
 than anything else. In a person's life,
education
 should be above all else.
Submitted by hanaiym on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: