IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage
In recent times, there is a general lack of interest in settling down among mature females. It is perceived by many people, to be a result of increased financial independence among women.
This
 essay will completely disagree with
this
 idea, because I think
this
 has more to do with constantly increasing breakup rate, rather than financial incentive. It is not uncommon, to see a significant section of people blaming the lack female lack of interest in marriage, on their improved ability to make money. In the past, most women become housewives immediately after the wedding, making them dependent on their husband for money.
This
 trend has changed over the years, due to the fact that, women activity in the labour market now on par with men (thanks to feminism).
For instance
, engineering and the medical field which historically dominated by men, now experiences equal participation among both sexes.
This
 ironically coincides with the decline in the number of weddings.
However
, I do consider the proponents of the idea above as misguided. It is a matter of fact, that the decline of marriage is not the fault of working women, but its associated with the increasing number of divorce cases.
As a result
, females generally consider the psychological impact of broken marriage as not worth risking.
For example
, recent studies by the Nigeria population agency show that the breakup rate is the most cited reason for the reduction in weddings.
Moreover
, the majority of women do not marry for financial reasons. In conclusion,
this
 essay discussed, why people think working are women less interested in wedding, but
also
 showed the fallacy of
this
 school of thought, because studies point, to discouragement due to increased divorce rate.
Submitted by emmanueldimmy8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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