People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

In recent years, a significant debate has emerged regarding the reasons for consuming soft drinks in society. Some people argue that
this
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habit is stimulated by factors ranging from aggressive advertising to an eating-out lifestyle.
While
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I acknowledge these causes, I firmly believe that these issues can be addressed through legal frameworks limiting ads’ impacts and promoting a healthy lifestyle.
This
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essay will examine both the root causes and solutions of
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trend. One of the key contributors to forming current consumers' preferences is advertising. Transnational corporations invest billions in marketing campaigns to foster including their products in a customer's routine.
For instance
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, Coca-Cola and Pepsi are in the top five companies with the highest marketing spending.
In addition
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, modern living standards promote dining out as a part of business or social culture. Starbucks,
for example
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, attracts numerous individuals to business meetings, where soft drinks are
also
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served.
However
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,
this
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consumer's behaviour should be tackled efficiently as it leads to significant health issues.
Thus
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, governments have to play a pivotal role in minimising the negative effects through legislation changes and setting social programs.
For example
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, a state school program in Japan strictly controls students' diet and prohibits the consumption of any processed and unhealthy products.
Consequently
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, Japan has the lowest rate (4%) of obesity among all the developed countries. In conclusion,
while
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it is undeniable that media commercials drive consumerism and contribute to state budgets, I firmly believe that public health should not be considered as a bargaining chip.
Therefore
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, proposed strict measures must be implemented by government agencies to enhance public health conditions and ensure sustainable development of the community.People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

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coherence
Use more clear linking words to tie each idea. This helps flow and shows better structure.
grammar
Fix grammar errors and reword sentences that are unclear.
content
Give more solid, true facts if you use data, and show how it links to the point.
conclusion
End with a conclusion that mirrors all parts of the answer and restate main ideas.
language
Watch long sentences and use short, simple form for easy read.
structure
The essay has a clear plan with a view on cause and fix.
content
There are good examples used to show your idea.
coherence
The essay uses some good linking words to show contrast.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar-based
  • drinks
  • taste
  • refreshing
  • enjoyable
  • marketing
  • advertise
  • cool
  • desirable
  • energy
  • tired
  • boost
  • social events
  • gatherings
  • parties
  • celebrations
  • choose
  • quick
  • common
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