The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problem. What are the problems that young people living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems.

#cities #world #people

The rapid development in the urban city brings a lot of problems to the youngster. In

this

essay, I intend to explore the sources of these problems

along with

some viable possible solutions to

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Chief among the causes of

this

problem is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overpopulation, which leads to overcrowding and environmental damage. A slum area in the urban space,

for example

, has a poor quality of housing

as well as

sanitation that could cause significant health problems.

Furthermore

, the air quality in cities has been often poor,

due to

pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded.

Along with

a poor quality of air, water is often

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

scarce because the infrastructures -hotels, airports, golf

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

, etc.- take the underground water. The people,

then

, could not take the water from their wheel. In order to resolve

this

sense of alienation within the urban, I believe we must first address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective method of doing

this

would be reclaiming the right to the city. In order to make the city

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

humane, accessible, and liveable social space,

reconfiguring

Correct article usage

a reconfiguring

show examples

approach to the planning, design, and structure of architecture and landscape is needed. By reconfiguring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

urban planning,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people could participate

to make

Change preposition

in making

show examples

what urban space they needed to live

Change preposition

in.

show examples

In conclusion, I believe that

this

is clearly a problem of

such

complexity that no solution is likely in the short term.

However

, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.

Tue Apr 14 2020

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coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples, but some could be further elaborated for a more comprehensive analysis.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task by discussing the problems faced by young people in urban cities and providing solutions. To improve task achievement, focus on providing more detailed solutions and further analyze the root causes of the problems.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and provide a clear structure for the essay.

task achievement

Reconfiguring urban planning to make cities more humane and participatory is a strong solution to address the problems faced by young people in urban areas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problem. What are the problems that young people living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems.

Fully explain your ideas

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