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Band 4.5

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schools #student #behaviour
Poor student
behaviour
 is a major problem faced by
schools
 across the globe
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in the
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 world.
This
 is
due to
 (
this
 can be attributed to) certain sociological and psychological
problems
 that are encountered
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 bringing up
children
. Both
parents
 and
teachers
 should play a responsible role in tackling (handling, solving, dealing with)
this
 problem effectively.
Parents
 today have too many responsibilities, other than (apart from) looking after the affairs of their families, which has resulted in
children
 getting less attention and care.
Parents
 need to inculcate (
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
) good values in young
children
 and discipline them at an early age, or else (if not) it would result in disruptive (unruly)
behaviour
 at home and in school. In many instances,
children
 are left alone in the company of television sets, computer screens and toys, and
consequently
, (as a consequence,
as a result
) they fail to develop (lack) interpersonal skills and human values, which they learn by interacting with their
parents
 and siblings.  
Furthermore
,
parents
 provide them with many material comforts, which can sometimes (may) make them selfish and greedy.
Children
 who come from
such
 family backgrounds (would) often create many
problems
 for
teachers
 and their schoolmates.
Parents
 should never shy away from (shirk their responsibility of) spending quality time with their
children
 on a regular basis, which would help them to monitor their
children
’s
behaviour
 and give suitable advice whenever there is a need. Another reason for problematic
behaviour
 among
children
 is that
teachers
 lack effective training in dealing with
children
 who have various behavioural and psychological inadequacies (
problems
).
Children
, who come from broken or problematic families, in order to
ventilate
Replace the word
vent
show examples
 their frustration, often create
problems
 in
schools
, which can only be tackled by trained
teachers
 or counsellors. Many
teachers
 become defensive and show little tact when
children
 show
such
 behavioural abnormalities. Erratic handling of
such
problems
 can result in (lead to) aggravating the issue. I believe that
this
 problem can be effectively addressed if
parents
 and
teachers
 are trained in scientific ways of dealing with
children
.
Schools
 should appoint specially trained counsellors, who can assist
teachers
 in dealing with problematic
children
. As mentioned above, both
parents
 and
teachers
 have a crucial role to play in normalising the
behaviour
 of
children
 in
schools
. Scientific ways of handling
children
 with troublesome
behaviour
 can go a long way in dealing with them efficiently.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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